Blending
By weewaaweewaa, 15th Mar 2010 | Follow this author
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Posted in WikinutHumourFunny Stories
My post on this crazy blending company called Blendtec. Also copy pasted from my blog with some changes to make it suitable for wikinut.
One day...
You had this inspiration to make the best blender ever. The idea was great, you know the blender will make it BIG. You set up a company, made a team of scientists to make your blender... made it the most user-friendly blender ever... And you made yourself as a well known company called Blendtec.
Steps to success for a blending machine company:
1. Make blending machine.
2. Make company.
3. ???
4. PROFIT!
Then, you decided that this isn't enough.
The blender was absolutely the best thing on Earth... It needs to do more.... MOAR!!!
Something like...
Being able to blend Cameras without much effort. Why? Because the blender is awesome, thats why.
Watched? Good. Back to your blender. That wasn't enough to satisfy you. You saw it... Your Iphone... is old. Time to upgrade. What to do with the old Iphone? Of course! You have your blender.
Watch your favourite Iphone get blended here!
Of course, having the absolutely beast blender shouldn't stop at there. It should be able to turn diamond to dust within seconds. But diamonds are too expensive, so lets try Cubic zirconia, which has a rating of 8 on the hardness scale compared to 10 of diamond.
YOUR BLENDER CAN BLEND DIAMONDS!!! !@#!@#$%!#%
Time to come back to reality...
I would never want that blender in my kitchen.
Reasons:
1. Its dangerous. Obvious. I don't want to know what it can blend. It might be amusing to take your enemies' favorite game console or phone and toss it in, but why else would you need a blender this powerful for?
2. How much would this blender cost? $399.95 to $999.95. Of course it wouldn't be considered much if you are a blending expert much as this founder is.
3. Sure, the site said not to blend stuff like your Iphone and diamonds. But of course that might be because of legal issues, after all what else can this blender do?
4. You have a company head which records videos and in everyone of them go:
I have this item.
The main question is: Will it blend?
Blended -> Don't breathe this.
Pour out blended crap.
Show friendly face and say: YES! IT BLENDS!
5. Remember reason number 1. It is never fun to put anything you own inside. Of course that includes any children and animals in your home.
No wait...
OH MY GOD! THE KITTEN!!!!
(Off topic: Wikinut restricted the pictures to be pasted only at the top or side, not anywhere else. So i had to create this section to make the picture at the bottom for comedic effect. So for now, you will erase your mind of any bloody kittens by watching the next video i'm going to give you. Wikinut editors tell me if i'm not allowed to make off topic sections ;) )
Totally off topic video.
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