Because of what we call the ‘Korean Wave’, we cannot deny the fact that a lot of girls all over the globe are wishing to date a Korean guy merely like one in those Korean dramas. A Korean guy that is always shouting but still looks cute and charming; the one who is overly protected with the one that he likes; and that someone who will give up everything just for the girl that catches his attention.
Korean Guys in Korean Dramas
Korean dramas build up Korean guys who are (most of the time) rich, good-looking and charming. They are the ones who are naturally bad and naughty but changes will be noticed when they meet someone they like. They do mostly childish things to deny the fact that they are attracted and that makes the story cute and funny. Well, those romantic dramas, as well as heavy dramas, have these scenarios, too. The Moon Embraces the Sun and Princess’ Man are good examples of heavy dramas which show some cool acting from the lead actors. Well, I guess, that’s the good thing about watching Korean dramas. Though they make your eyes cry, there are still scenarios that can even make you laugh or yeah, smile a bit.
However, we need to know that dramas are dramas and reality is reality. We cannot merely rely on dramas to know everything about Korean guys. Well, I am not an expert on this nor I’ve never dated a Korean guy (wish I had…) but I’ve been teaching those natives for almost two years, online and offline. I’ve learned a lot of things about their different personalities, customs, and traditions and those are the things that I would like to share with you.
What are the things we need to know beforehand?
Interracial dating is now common in Korea so you don’t have to worry about it. I have a lot of friends who dated Koreans and some got married (well, just rare cases, I think). But anyway, before you worry about the marriage, try to study Korean first…
Yes, Korean! If you want to date a Korean, you need to learn their language first!
Well, it’s not like a requirement to find a Korean guy to date because most of them can speak English (if you met them outside Korea or had the chance to be friends on the net.) They are studying English all the time so somehow (but some are good) they can communicate through the international language. However, do you expect them to express everything in English? I mean as in EVERYTHING?
The language barrier is a hard thing for lovers. They can teach you a little but don’t expect them to be your tutor! They will never be! So… what are you waiting for? Learn now! Start learning how to read and write in Korean.
The second thing is…
In Korea, a girl is a girl and a boy is a boy.
Hmmm… What do I mean by this?
Girls are expected to be feminine and Boys are expected to be masculine.
Believe it or not, girls in Korea (though not all, as usual) act so weakly when they are in front of their boyfriends. Weak in the sense of they cannot carry things so boys carry those stuff for them. Haven’t you notice that in dramas?
Being women, they are expected to be funny, cute, and innocent. In Korea, the more innocent a girl appears, the more attractive she becomes to the men. (Most of the dramas that I watched had the leading girls act naïve at times) Geum Jan Di, though she’s not quiet and feminine, she portrays a naïve character at times which makes Jun Pyo and Ji Ho like her.
I guess it’s because guys should be the heroes in relationships… I mean they are the ones who should carry the relationship. Korean men are always expected to be men who pay for everything, carry everything, and plan everything. (Though nowadays, women share the bills. But it still depends.)
Women take pride in looking beautiful and so as the men… what? Yes, the men want to look handsome all the time. They are also beauty conscious. I have met few Korean guys and believe me or not, they also put a lot of things on their faces like creams and moisturizers! 🙂 Sometimes, you need to wait for them in the living room while they are in the bathroom and fixing their hair, their face, and everything.
…pre-military and post-military.
Every man in South Korea is required to serve at least two years in the military, before entering the university.
Well, if you like (because I don’t…) you can start dating a guy who hasn’t finished it yet but you should know that you will have to spend 2 years without him. They cannot use the internet or even their phones during the service.
On the other hand, dating a post-military guy means he is older, has more life-experience, and certainly more mature. It’s just that he’s not yet finished with his studies (in fact, just starting his university life).
Don’t be surprised by matchmaking or as they call it… blind dating.
In other countries, we usually do this kind of dating when… you know… we are about to be out of the calendar (Am I right? Because that’s the way we say it here in the Philippines when someone is getting older.) Anyway, in Korea, it’s different. It’s one of their common ways to find partners. If you are 25 and above, understand that most of your Korean friends are so excited and eager to set you up on a date with someone you haven’t met. It’s very usual in Korea.
… keep those things in your mind if you’re targeting to date a Korean guy.
Things We Should Expect When Dating a Korean Guy
Are you wishing to meet a Korean guy? How about planning to date one? Probably (because you’re now reading this article) you’re wondering how it feels or what does it seem like when you are going out with a Korean guy or perhaps a Korean boyfriend.
Why Do Most Girls Like to Have a Korean Guy?
For me, the ultimate reason why probably most girls want to have a Korean guy is because of what Korean dramas build on their minds about Korean men.
Is it reliable? Do we have to believe in it and fully trust those famous Korean dramas regarding the personalities that Korean men have? Well… I mentioned this before in my previous article.
So what should we expect in having a Korean guy?
As I mentioned earlier, it’s normal for a Korean guy to pay for almost everything on dates. When a Korean guy goes out shopping with a girlfriend, he doesn’t allow his partner to split the check or pay anything. It’s a big insult for him. (But again, it depends on the situation, for example, if the guy is capable of doing so or not.) Sometimes, they both spend their money. Such as the girl will pay for the food and the guy will pay for the movie.
A Korean guy also tries to be a gentleman by carrying your bag or bags but don’t expect that he’ll always open the door for you or let you walk through first. Hohoho!
Don’t expect ‘I Love You’ too much!
Well, if you watch Korean dramas, Korean guys usually don’t say ‘I love you’ most of the time. I watched a movie before. They met, dated, kissed… but I never heard the phrase ‘I love you’ until the time they were about to get married. Hahaha! Well… Korean guys are like that. Saying that love expression is really serious for a Korean and you will just hear it from him rarely.
Though not that expressive in terms of the phrase “I love you”, a Korean boyfriend tends to send a lot of text messages in a day… and when I say a lot… I mean a LOT! A Korean guy is always checking out on his girl, whether you get back home safe after a date or you’re still out with your friends. Let’s say Korean guys are more communicative than any other guys. My student, for instance, is always sending a message to his girlfriend. When we’re eating, when we’re talking, or even when we’re playing.
Focus, focus, focus!
But there’s an exception when he’s studying! Haha!
I don’t see him touching his phone when we are having our class or even when he’s studying alone (though not all students are like him.. duh!!) Anyway, the point here is a Korean guy has to focus. When he studies, he studies earnestly. When he works, he works hard. The bad thing here is when he plays, he plays! Hahaha! You can’t have him stop playing just to answer your call or your message. Wait until he finishes the first round of the game (just like another guy, anyway.)
Because of the gender roles, I discussed in my previous article (in which I mentioned that girls should be naïve, innocent to attract more attention from guys), a Korean guy likes it when a girl lets him talk or let him lead the conversation or even the relationship itself.
And last but not the least, Korean guys are not afraid to be cute. Well, at first, I thought those actions and expressions are just on TV dramas. But OM! As in Oh my! It’s a big no-no! I know some Korean guys who are trying to be cute most of the time with the use of those expressions and everything. Hmmm.. maybe they are not trying to be cute… How can I say this??! It’s like they’re acting to be cute… but they are not trying to be cute… What the! hahaha! Well, let’s just put it this way. They are naturally cute so when they act their natural ways, they look so cute! Hoho! It’s enough!
I’ve watched some dramas like Rooftop Prince, Flower Boy Next Door, Flower Boy Ramyun Shop, and Cheongdamdong Alice just early this year and saw a lot of cute actions and expressions that I thought I could only see on TV. I was shocked when I saw some of my students (guys) who did those actions subconsciously. Cutie Pie!
Let’s now go to dating!
Korean dating is a bit different from other countries. Usually, a guy works hard to have an intimate relationship with a girl that he likes. However, in Korea, intimacy is included inside the relationship itself.
This is how it goes:
Meet a guy either by a chance encounter in public or by common friends. That’s the first date. During this day, talk about your hobbies and look for compatibilities. Some (though not most of the time) still ask for one’s blood type because Koreans usually based one’s personality according to his/her blood type. This is a formal meeting and getting to know each other.
This is hilarious and shocking for me. After the first date, the next date will be a confirmation if the two will be a couple or not. Hahaha! So if you decided to have a second date, it means you’re already in a relationship with that guy. I saw a Korean movie before, Spellbound (hahaha! A romantic comedy scary movie… ) In that movie, the lead actor and his leading lady became friends and started to date on the latter part. The first date was just merely talking and on their second date, the actor said that they need to have a couple of phones since they are already a couple (because they are on their second date).
However, that’s not always the case. My student tried to explain things to me. Hohoho!
In Korea, if a Korean guy likes a girl and the feeling is mutual, they date (without saying that they are dating). They just hang out as more than friends but less than lovers (what??). If the guy already has the confidence that the girl likes him too, he confesses his feelings. On that day, the girl gives her answer and they will begin their relationship formally.
When you decided to be a couple, then begin counting days because you are going to celebrate your 100th day in the relationship. Here in the Philippines, we celebrate being in a relationship every month. For example, if you started the relationship last February 14, 2013, you will have your first monthsary on March 14, 2013, and so on. In Korea, it’s quite different because they don’t celebrate monthly but every 100 days of being in a relationship. The 100th day is very special for those who are in a relationship and they usually exchange gifts on the said day.
As I mentioned just a moment ago, the actor wished for a couple of phones, what? Couple phones? Yes. In Korea, it’s common. As couples, you should have similar things. Well, the worst is the Korean couple outfits (but it sounds so sweet to me).
It is normal for couples to wear matching clothing. Sometimes, they do it from shirts, pants, and even shoes. It’s because men want to make sure that everyone knows the girl is theirs and vice versa.
How can I forget the thing that they call ‘Love Skill’ or 밀당 (Mildang)?
What is밀당 (mildang)?
밀당 (mildang) is short for 밀고 당기기 (milgo danggigi) which is translated as “push and pull”. It is like doing something on purpose to make the other person work harder to get you. It is a dating strategy in Korea. For instance, a Korean guy who is dating you will not always act like he is head over heels in love with you all the time. There are times that he will act cold and will wait for you to make the first move.
Hmmm… remember that all these things are not applicable for all Korean guys. Some are like this and some are like that.
Now, are you ready to be on a date?