Saving a strained marriage

deepa venkitesh By deepa venkitesh, 28th Jun 2011 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/41byjjbn/
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Relationships

Marriage is a bond which requires trust and love. The secrets of a happy married life lies in the spirit of not giving up.

We do we fight?

Why are we arguing most of the time lately? This is a question most couples ask after a period of honeymoon years. The reasons are really simple once we evaluate them. Falling in ‘love’ is actually a case of infatuation in the case of many people. These people head straight for marriage without really understanding one another properly, and once the honeymoon effect wears off, problems like adjusting to habits and unwelcome friends start to creep in. At first the partner smiles it off, but persistent interference may lead to fights and arguments, leading to divorce and estrangement. Any effort by others to bring such couples together will be futile, unless the persons involved themselves try to adjust and understand the real meaning of LOVE.

What is Love?

LOVE is about
Sharing
Caring
Giving
Forgiving
Adjusting
Rewarding
Give sole and rapt attention to partner
Not venting anger on partner
Partner is not your servant
Consider partner as your better half

Let me detail. Sharing means no secrets also. Secrets are not present in true love. Secrets means a lie which when revealed could destroy a relationship beyond repair. Why be secretive when your partner has accepted you as their love mate? Surely they will be understanding and supportive and forgive your small mistakes. So go ahead and trust each other and see your love bloom once again. Appreciate the life and chance God has given you and use it properly.

caring, giving and forgiving

Caring for your partner is the greatest bond that seals your relationship. A partner well cared and loved will never go astray. If you do not give much time or show interest in your partner, then he or she will be extremely sad and offended.

Giving is the word that confirms your good qualities as a human being. Any bad habit or trait will be forgiven if you are truly kind enough to others and have decent manners. Behaving like a gentleman will indeed be appreciated and such a person will be welcome anywhere.

Forgiving is a divine quality which few of us have. To forget and forgive is a hard task which many of us fail to do. But remember that we are also of the same race and we also make mistakes. So please don’t try to keep finding faults and don’t remember grudges of past. If you keep this in mind, you will never have to fight.

Adjusting to one another is the most required factor if you want your marriage to be successful. Remember nobody is perfect, not even you, so please try your maximum to adjust and remember it takes two to maintain a happy married life.

Bits of advice

Reward your partner for choosing you above others. How? Signal that your partner is the best in this world. Telling about your love frequently boosts the chemistry between the couple which will seal the marriage. Marriages are meant for a lifetime not just a pastime.

Giving sole and rapt attention to your partner will surely bring you both closer. The feeling of being loved and being considered above all others will act as super glue which will never let anything rip your relationship apart.

Problems in workplace or any trying situations can be disturbing, but please do not vent your anger on your partner who may not even be aware of your problem. If any situation is getting out of hand, share your apprehension with your partner and get relieved, because marriage is about sharing your happiness as well as sorrows.

Shed off the high and mighty attitude. Nobody is your servant. Everyone is born equal. If you think you deserve rest, your partner also deserves it. Try not to order other people about, because feel blessed that GOD has given us proper limbs to work for us as well as others too. Serve, do not Rule.

Above all consider your partner as your better half and convey so from time to time. Happily married couples of many years reveal this factor as the secret of their long and happy marriage. Human beings feel exalted when praised before others, and if you praise your partner before others, your love will never leave you for another person.

Try to remember these small bits of advice when you feel that your marriage is drifting apart, because small trials and adjustments on your part could save a family and bring smiles. We are humans not birds to keep looking for a new partner every season.

Tags

Children, Couple, Divorce, God, Love, Marriage, Relationships, Society, Spouse, Workplace

Meet the author

author avatar deepa venkitesh
I am a post graduate in sociology and public relations. I write articles and poems.

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Comments

author avatar Steve Kinsman
29th Jun 2011 (#)

Very good article. Good advice.

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author avatar THARA RAJEEV
29th Jun 2011 (#)

Really Nice share..

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author avatar Delicia Powers
29th Jun 2011 (#)

A wonderful article,so well said deeps!

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author avatar Retired
30th Jun 2011 (#)

Sometime just love and understanding is not enough, what you need is the willingness to continue in the relationship depending on how good or detrimental it is to your being and your families being as a whole.

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author avatar Buzz
30th Jun 2011 (#)

Wonderful piece, my friend. Great share.

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author avatar deepa venkitesh
30th Jun 2011 (#)

Thank you all for the support.

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author avatar Songbird B
30th Jun 2011 (#)

A wise and well written article, Deeps. Lots of sound advice. Thank you for sharing...

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author avatar Prasul Surendran
30th Jun 2011 (#)

Wisely chosen words and well said my friend :)

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author avatar PHYLLIS LOGIE
30th Jun 2011 (#)

A very insightful piece, packed with good advice. Thank you for the share

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author avatar deepa venkitesh
30th Jun 2011 (#)

Thank you dears.

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author avatar Maria Malone
6th Jul 2011 (#)

Such wonderful advice Deeps, thank you!!

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author avatar deepa venkitesh
6th Jul 2011 (#)

thank you dear

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author avatar Phoenix Montoya
15th Jul 2011 (#)

Good advices on saving a marriage. I guess for me, the first step in having a successful one is do not get married when you are not sure of a partner. Then, future problems in a marriage can definitely saved. A good write, thanks.

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author avatar deepa venkitesh
16th Jul 2011 (#)

thank you dear. choosing he right partner is the real saver for sure.

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author avatar Denise O
19th Jul 2011 (#)

Some great wisdom is in this page. Thank you for sharing.:)

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author avatar deepa venkitesh
20th Jul 2011 (#)

thank you dear.

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author avatar Ivyevelyn, R.S.A.
8th Oct 2011 (#)

Marriage is like a garden. We have to care for it otherwise it will wilt and die. Thanks for sharing.

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author avatar deepa venkitesh
9th Oct 2011 (#)

what a wonderful comparison

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author avatar deepa venkitesh
9th Oct 2011 (#)

Thank you dear

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