Upheavals

Rathnashikamani By Rathnashikamani, 13th Mar 2011 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>Poetry

This poem is the outcome of my wandering mind at times when I could not come up with an emphatic idea of my own heart getting confused with many incomprehensible aspects of life.

It is a fact that this poem too has evolved into such an imperceptible monologue, which the readers have to decide whether it is crap or an evoking imagination of a clear mind.

Upheavals


As I lose hopes and fail in my views
I disfigure my imaginings and regret the past.

As my will lurks in bygones and mocks my falling soul,
I underline my apprehensions to untangle the present.

As I propose & dream of moons and revel into high sky,
My minds join to fly spinning thoughts around a try.

When this stimulus turns me crazy,
I really go mad and become insensitive.

Then I wonder about myself trying
To replay the emotions I longed for.

And as my vision seems to stretch
Looking beyond the Self in search of answers,
I resort to imagine my nude innocence.


Photo courtesy: http://free-stock-photos.com

Best Wishes

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Comments

author avatar LOVERME
14th Mar 2011 (#)

Friendly Advice
Very nice poetry
If you permit
I may make a few suggestions
Friendly ones...

Firstly did you mean lose?
And not loose?

Secondly
Never use abbreviations
Like as for and,

And thirdly
Never use a capital,
In between
Just for emphasis.

Fourthly the very fact
You are composing
And
Placing a work on the Internet
You are worth your salt
Which you are...

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author avatar Rathnashikamani
27th Mar 2011 (#)

Thanks for the lovely advice.
I'm going to edit as per the first suggestion.

But let me think it over on the other two suggestions.

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author avatar Jonathan
14th Mar 2011 (#)

This is not crap, Rathna, its poetry and its deep.
The last three lines are great, and they speak to me, which means I can relate to what they are saying.
"Then i wonder about myself trying to replay the emotions i longed for". If I understand this correctly, thats a hopeless feeling, like barely touching something good before it dissolves. Nice poem, i also liked the other one, about the wonderful teacher, but i find it kind of difficult to comment on poems. And when i feel a poem, i get curious if the author meant it the way i feel it, which of course is non of my business.. : )

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author avatar Rathnashikamani
27th Mar 2011 (#)

Jonathan,
Thanks to you so much.
Yes, that line is about a hopeless feeling, you got it right.

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author avatar Songbird B
15th Mar 2011 (#)

This is a great share, Rathnashikamani.All your poems are deep and meaningful, and as individuals, we each take out the interpretation that we find within...Great work as always...

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author avatar Rathnashikamani
27th Mar 2011 (#)

Songbird,
Your kind words add value to my poems.

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author avatar muthusamy
15th Mar 2011 (#)

Excellent poem. Thank you This time I would like use the phrase from lovelyhoney: You are worth your salt

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author avatar Rathnashikamani
27th Mar 2011 (#)

muthusamy,
You're always encouraging me. I get inspired by such comments. Thanks to lovelyhoney also.

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author avatar Retired
17th Mar 2011 (#)

It sounds a bit melancholy rather than confused to me, but as poems should express or evoke emotions that is good.

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author avatar Rathnashikamani
27th Mar 2011 (#)

Jill,
You're right.
Sometimes a poem of melancholy expresses a different view bringing about a positive note.

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author avatar jayababy
25th Mar 2011 (#)

Poems are rare. Its great that u r attempting. Good work.

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author avatar Rathnashikamani
27th Mar 2011 (#)

Hi Jayababy,
I'm blessed to get such an encouraging remark from you.

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author avatar Retired
13th Apr 2011 (#)

Very good work

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author avatar Rathnashikamani
13th Apr 2011 (#)

Thank you lucia anna.

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