~Fly Assassins Report I.~

WordWulf By WordWulf, 9th Feb 2011 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/1nhafdza/
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Off Beat

~Gnawing on bones , cow hips and such, chasing sticks and slobbering, trapping, barking at cats, Igor sleeps through the day, watches flies trip across her nose~

~Fly Assassins Report I.~

My name is Professor Sluggo, Fly Assassin Extraordinaire. My trusty sidekick and comrade-in-arms is Igor. We’ve been working undercover in Northern California for the past six months. The Universal Association of Fly Assassins has just today, 9 February, 2011, agreed to allow us to share information of our mission here. We will be imparting important data concerning the enemy, flies. We have cells in California and Colorado. As I am sure you aware, the enemy is everywhere. If you are interested in creating a cell, let me know. Whether you are or not, you’ll want to follow the Fly Assassin Chronicles to learn the secrets of protecting yourself and family and friends from these vermin. Flies bug me, I kill ‘em!

These missives are from the morning and afternoon of 15 August 2010 as transmitted to fellow fly assassins in the field:

I killed half a dozen flies this morning. Three of them fell between stones in the yard. I was unable to find them. The other three stuck and wiggled when swatted. Igor followed me closely and ate them half alive.

Fly facts: Flies taste with their feet, yum! Their feet are 10 million times more sensitive to sugar than the human tongue.

~Fly Assassins Report~

Gnawing on bones , cow hips and such, chasing sticks and slobbering, trapping, barking at cats, Igor sleeps through the day, watches flies trip across her nose. Her eyes cross; she waits for me to knock ‘em down, eats ‘em.

Had negotiations with enemy in progress but Igor ate the hostages. Where do they go at night? We need to catch some more.

Fly facts: Flies live an average of 15 – 25 days unless Igor and I have something to say about it!

Over and out!
P. Sluggo, F.A.E.

~Tom (WordWulf) Sterner~
~Nevada Bill~
~An American Valentine~
~Whiskey Man~

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Art, Assassins, Author, Blogging, Bugs, California, Cats, Cherokee, Children, Colorado, Dogs, Eating Insects, Family, Flies, Humor, Lyricist, Musician, Novels, Original Music, Pets, Philosophy, Photography, Poetry, Singer, Slice Of Life, Spirit, Tom Sterner, Wikinut, Wordwulf, Writing

Meet the author

author avatar WordWulf
I write novels, poetry, songs,nonsense & lies. Sometimes truth sneaks in when I ain't lookin'.

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Comments

author avatar Denise O
10th Feb 2011 (#)

LOL I like it. Made me smile.
Thank you for sharing.:)

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author avatar WordWulf
10th Feb 2011 (#)

Smiling is good:-) Killing flies makes P. Sluggo smile.

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