~Fly Assassins Report IV~

WordWulf By WordWulf, 14th Feb 2011 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/1m3if3g7/
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Off Beat

~I must confess that at the time, as shown here, we were quite primitive in our methods of trapping and killing. The poo-trap in the picture is an example of how I earned my name, Sluggo~

~Preying~

~Fly Assassins~“SWAT” Team~
~Flies bug us~We kill ‘em!~

Associates & Fellows, what follows is a page from the Master Fly Assassins’ log, 18 August 2010. My ears burn a bit with the heat of embarrassment as I realize how naïve and innocent Igor was a few short months back. Here’s the goods!

Igor has transformed into a wicked killing machine when it comes to flies. She remains friendly to humans, too friendly in fact. She wants to meet & greet anytime we go out walking & see someone else, quite the opposite of me. On the other hand she has a paw, ha-ha.

She displayed a decided inclination to pursue the creature pictured here. Weary of attempts to communicate the concept of allies to her, I left the poor thing in its preoccupation with the bug zapper, took Igor out on a SWAT operation. When we returned, I’m elated to report, we could account for 17 of the enemy wounded, dismembered & eaten, the Mantis was gone. Igor got busy setting up poo-bait traps in the stone yard (also pictured here).

I removed those from the day before & retired inside to update our log. I must confess that at the time, as shown here, we were quite primitive in our methods of trapping and killing. The poo-trap in the picture is an example of how I earned my name, Sluggo. Igor’s issue would be gathered in plastic grocery bags. These would be hung from the backyard light fixture. In an hour or two the bag would be full of slimy muck-sucking vermin and I would literally punch the living shit out of it, killing most of the enemy inside in a vicious two-fisted attack. You can imagine what I looked like following the punch-out pictured here. We have vastly improved our techniques. Keep following Fly Assassins and you too will learn to dispatch the enemy by using poo-traps and not getting it all over yourself.

I’ve discovered at certain precise angles, Igor’s head strongly resembles that of a fly. That’s a bit disturbing to me. The enemy isn’t supposed to look like us, is it? I’ll have more on that investigation later with pictorial proof.

Over and out!
P. Sluggo, F.A.E.

Fly Facts:

Flies usually stay within a mile or two of where they were born.
They have been known to travel up to 20 miles in search of food.
~Tom (WordWulf) Sterner~
~Fly Assassins I~
~Fly Assassins II~
~Fly Assassins III~

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Comments

author avatar Denise O
15th Feb 2011 (#)

As they say live and lear but, also...We have to start some where and then we improve as we go. Good luck on yours and Igor's crusade.
Thank you for sharing.:)

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author avatar WordWulf
16th Feb 2011 (#)

I called Cinder Dawg Igor when I began the crusade. She began to respond to it then I realized she thinks the flies are Igors & loves the game.

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