~Mother~

WordWulfStarred Page By WordWulf, 1st May 2011 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/8eqlf2wd/
Posted in Wikinut>Writing>True Stories

~ I wrote Mother in May 2004 and sent it to Momma for Mother’s Day ~ what turned out to be the last Mother’s Day of her life. A couple of months later she was gone ~ Momma’s Hands was written then ~ I miss her deeply and wish her spirit well ~ Mine will spend the remainder of its life here on earth healing in the light of my children’s love ~

~Mother~

On those days when life is just too damned heavy to carry, I set it down and think about her.

She is young in my thoughts, so full of hope she just might burst. That round hard belly, the load she must carry, is part of her. It defies understanding. She must not and does not set it down. Even when it journeys from womb to breast, a cradle her arms make. When it learns to walk her hands take and it walks away but never leaves her. She must not and does not set it down.

On those days when life is just too damned heavy to carry, I set it down and think about her.

My load is diminished in the shadow of her courage. I am enlightened to know she is there. Yes, she is just there. She must not and does not set me down.

~Momma’s Hands~

Momma’s hands held mine, patty-cake, tickling my piggies, baby powder soft. “I was raised by sisters in a Catholic orphanage,” she told me. My tiny fists around her fingers, I learned to walk in Momma’s hands.

Momma’s hands offered love and solace, fingers pushing Vicks into my nose, rubbing it into my chest, pinning towels tight around a cold that never had a chance, caressed my face, trembled, that I might be tended by, the awesome healing power of Momma’s hands.

Momma’s hands knew every part of me, my young and broken heart. A cradle they would make that I would be safe and secure beneath their wings, a tender-keep they were. Brothers and sisters, each and all, gathered within the circle of Momma’s hands.

Momma’s hands birthing and growing, teaching and knowing when to let go, when to shelter and pull away, the wounds of her life made small by the desire to tend to helpless things, danger held at bay and more ‘neath Momma’s hands.

Something fell Momma down. We gathered in ones and twos in the hospital ICU, doctors and nurses understanding, shaking their heads. “I’m so tired,” she said. They lay limp at her side and I cried at the sight of Momma’s hands.

“Where’s the priest?” “Are those the sisters?” she asked my sister. “Are they coming to tell me what they used to tell me... Wake up, little girl, don’t you cry?” Her voice was thin, “I’m not gonna die.” A tear slid down her face, “I’m going home.”

Later, after she has rested, she is much weaker, once proud lips full, no, clouded eyes, the merciful opiate haze of morphine. Oh, you candle spirit, what are we without you? What is life without her?

Time stops. My lips, one last kiss, those hands, whose job is done are finally at rest. I lift them up, one by one. I kiss them goodbye, Momma’s hands.

In loving memory of my Mother, Carroll Belle Hart (Stene/Sterner)
7 September, 1931 – 11 July, 2004

~A Tear for the Choir~

Poor; she taught us to be proud
Proud; she taught us to be humble
her example of integrity and individuality
true and pure beyond question or explanation

She asked more of herself
and expected it from others
yet never refused to lend a hand
to lost, world-weary, and hungry souls
be they human or beast

One doesn’t say goodbye to her
She created a space in those she loved
to make them stronger

We are come to say hello to those spaces
to sing their praises
to the extraordinary lady
who never knew how to let us down
but gave of herself and just enough
to make us strong
all who carry her song in our hearts
that we might go on without her

In loving memory of my Mother
Carroll Belle Hart (Stene/Sterner)
7 September, 1931 – 11 July, 2004

~She~

Since the beginning of time
frail creatures born unto earth
have required protection and nurturing
a guardian of fierce spirit
and gentle, life-sustaining, mien
one willing to sacrifice its existence
that those in its caring might survive
In caves and trees, square-built houses
a song, a selfsame song, is born
true as wing, bare feet in the grass
a cuddle and coo lullaby

There is conclusive and inclusive evidence
in the eyes of every child
a certainty and confidence
in these frailest of all creatures
life, the guarantee and value of life
assurance of the morrow
the glint and shine of innocence
whose burdens are borne by an other
one whose tentative purchase, the birthing wall
is vouchsafed by god and is gifted with instinct and knowledge
precious secrets, impenetrable shields of protection

Without her body, we are not
within her body, we begin
children, children, we are until
death comes to claim her blood
Stronger than death, her spirit owns
a legion of dreams behind our eyes
to sustain and support us
She is faith, the realization that hope
and a prayer, her womb of life
our only truth at first and last
a cloak she wears and wears it well

Do you know her
Does your hand reach
tremble when she’s not there
Do you hear her
the echo of her voice
a mature mimic of your own
Do you miss her
when you are lonely
and there is no one else who cares
Do you find her
in the face in the mirror
in moments of wild abandon looking back
Do you love her
Do you

~Tom (WordWulf) Sterner~
~Each Side of Dawn~
~Moth/A Sign~
~Of Lips, Mother, & Wine~
~Momma's Ashes~

Tags

Art, Birth, Death, Family, Grieving, Life, Memories, Mommas Rain, Mother, Novelist, Parenting, Philosophy, Photography, Poetry, Responsibility, Ritual, Sons, Spirit, Tom Wordwulf Sterner, Tribute, Wikinut, Writer

Meet the author

author avatar WordWulf
I write novels, poetry, songs,nonsense & lies. Sometimes truth sneaks in when I ain't lookin'.

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Comments

author avatar Songbird B
1st May 2011 (#)

Oh WordWulf, I have tears in my eyes reading this...What a wonderful tribute, what wonderful heartfelt words...A great great share about an incredible woman...Bless you for such a wonderful article...A very well deserved Star page....

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author avatar aden kendroemen
2nd May 2011 (#)

"On those days when life is just too damned heavy to carry, I set it down and think about her." Powerful, man, I lost own mother last year, and see her passing in the same light. Thank you for this.

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author avatar Retired
2nd May 2011 (#)

what an increadiable piece of writing. loving tribute.

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author avatar Denise O
2nd May 2011 (#)

My heart just feels for you so much. As I sit here, I am brought to tears for my own loss. I miss my mama more than I will ever be able to put in words. What a lovely tribute to your mom. You know me and I have to say, this page just leaves me speechless and that is no easy feat. Thank you for sharing such a precious time in your life, with all of us. It means so much. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You have captured my emotions so fully. Just lovely.:)

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author avatar christopheranton
2nd May 2011 (#)

Beautiful words, in tribute to a beautiful lady.
Thanks for sharing.

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author avatar Delicia Powers
2nd May 2011 (#)

This is a poem to linger in my memory, what a legacy your mothers love... your poetry is a monument to her, thank you...

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author avatar mountainside
3rd May 2011 (#)

...Well, the tears just roll, so sad but so lovely. Beautiful eloquent writing. Thank you, you only have one precious mother.

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author avatar Maria Malone
3rd May 2011 (#)

This is so beautiful and tearfully so, I lost my mom in 2005, thanks for posting

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author avatar Lila Bangsawan
26th May 2011 (#)

Wordwulf was right. When we lost our mom, that was like we lost half of our soul.

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author avatar Maria Malone
3rd May 2011 (#)

This is so beautiful and tearfully so, I lost my mom in 2005, thanks for posting

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author avatar WordWulf
3rd May 2011 (#)

Thanks, folks. These seven years later I wake up to the sound of her voice and realize it's me speaking in tongues she taught me, loving my children in weighs as she did me, the weight she carried so well. Good life & good mother love to you all in the name of the woman & the week of her name.

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author avatar Steve Kinsman
12th May 2011 (#)

Extraordinary writing and poetry. Heartfelt, warm expressed out of boundless love for your mom. Thank you. Thank You, WordWulf.

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author avatar Pink&Blue
14th May 2011 (#)

Thank you great write.

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author avatar Lloyd Waters
21st May 2011 (#)

Lovely! Your memories of growing up with Momma are similar to mine. I remember counting piggies and making steeples with my Momma's hands.

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author avatar WordWulf
21st May 2011 (#)

Not bad being a Momma's boy, is it:-)

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author avatar Jlyn11
23rd May 2011 (#)

I love your article, it made me think of my Mom. I lost her 3 years ago and then my Dad 2 years ago. Thanks for sharing.

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author avatar WordWulf
23rd May 2011 (#)

We are a bit lesser then, aren't we

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author avatar Angelique Newman
24th May 2011 (#)

A wonderful tribute to your mother; it brought tears to my eyes. My deepest condolences for your loss.

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author avatar WordWulf
24th May 2011 (#)

Thank-you:-)

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author avatar Retired
31st May 2011 (#)

These three poems form a moving, magnificent tribute to your mother. Your love for her shines from every word.

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author avatar Lila Bangsawan
31st May 2011 (#)

My love to my mom and pop are similar. They passed away some years ago. I always come to their graves till now.

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author avatar WordWulf
31st May 2011 (#)

I didn't know what passed away meant until I lost her. She will never "die" in my spirit.

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author avatar Lila Bangsawan
31st May 2011 (#)

Surely you are right, WordWulf.

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author avatar ritzwitz
9th May 2014 (#)

Moved my heart. Wonderful!

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author avatar WordWulf
9th May 2014 (#)

~thank-you:-)~

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